Hard

Today I should be doing a million and one things besides this. I should be doing laundry, picking up my room, doing dishes, doing homework. But I can't seem to make myself do any of it. D is sleeping (hallelujah!) This past week he has been hard. He has been one fussy baby for the past week. He has an ear infection but it doesn't seem to be getting any better, so we are going to the Dr. again tomorrow. But this time we are going to Logan to see D's pediatrician. I hope the Dr. can give me some answers because I feel a little (a lot) helpless right now. So far this deployment has been hard, harder than the other two. Partly because I now have D to take care of and partly because In the 3 weeks Kamas has been gone I have yet to talk to him on the phone for longer than a few minutes. The last 2 times Kamas was deployed he had access to a phone everyday and we were able to video chat almost everyday. I took it for granted. I keep waiting for the weeks to go by so I can look back and say, wow that went fast. So far all I can say is, wow this is taking forever. I miss him. And I hate the fact that he is missing D learn new things. I hate the fact that when D says Dada I have to show him a picture of his dad, and I hate the fact the Kamas hasn't heard him say Dada. But I love that Kamas has a job he loves and is proud of. I love that he takes his responsibility to his troops very seriously. I love that he loves me and D and is able to provide for us. Mostly I love him. Being a military wife is hard and lonely, and so very worth it.